Monday, June 21, 2010

He Said, She Said

My husband and I are arguing.  I never spend any time with him.  I say, he never spends any time with me.  I have my studio, my blog, my likes, my junkin.  He has fishing, hunting, and football.  We like NOTHING the other likes!  Okay, we can’t even agree on what type of hot dog to eat!  Yep, talk about night and day.

He wants ME to spend time with HIM. NOT the other way around.  I hate hunting, can’t stand going to football games, think shows about hunting and fishing on TV are stupid AND I can’t fish because of my health (allergies & riding in the boat would literally kill me right now).  Would it kill him to take me to the antique malls around where I live every now and then (I’m agoraphobic to a certain degree and going places is always anxiety-attack inducing) or go to some yard sales?  Take me to Michaels or Hobby Lobby?  Hmmmmm?????

Have any of you ever experienced this?  I  read so much about how husbands are so supportive of their wives’ hobbies.  Well mine isn’t.  Insecurity?  Jealousy?   Probably both.  But, it’s a two-way street.  I tried the one-way street for over 18 years…….our marriage almost didn’t last.  So it’s no more of that now that I wrestled an identity back (which he FULLY supported me doing!).

Sorry for the venting, normally I try to keep this blog upbeat, but it’s reaching critical mass.

So, chime in!  Does your spouse think you’re ignoring him when you are in your studio?  Does he want you GLUED to him 24/7 after even 22 years of marriage (yep, just this May)?  Or does he go with you as much as you go with him?  Inquiring minds (well mine LOL) want to know!

Until Later……………………………



  1. Oh you poor love....Go ahead VENT AWAY....The release has probably done you good.... :o) !!

    LOL....I'm lucky I guess....Mr SVJ is happy when I go off to do my junkin'....SOMETIMES he'll take me Antiquing & he meets me at the Market for breakfast each Sunday but he doesn't like looking at EVERY little thing & gets bored QUICKLY if there are'nt any tools....!!

    I can't really offer any advice I'm afraid....Just warm Aussie <> & HOPES that you'll be able to find some common ground....!!

    Cheers for now,
    Tamarah :o)

  2. I hear where you're coming from. My husband loves the outdoors - I can't stand the heat. I love mindless television - he thinks it's boring. We have found that we both like road trips and I can usually work in a stop at an antique store along the way. It works for us...... Maybe you can find something new - he has his stuff; you have yours but find something new that you can both do together. Just my two cents - and I am so not an expert in the field!!

  3. The first 25 years are the hardest! My other half and I have no common interests so we came to a consensus to eat our evening meal sitting at the dining table with no television so we can talk about our day and we spend some time in the same room each evening whether we're doing the same things or not. I take some miniature work and sit on the lounge while he watches television. Somehow that repaired our relationship and yet gives us both time to do the other things that we wouldn't want to do together.

    Warm vibes going your way, I hope you can work things out. Moving forward in life without your lifelong companion is a hard road.

  4. Keep on working at it honey, you can imagine how 50 years together goes up and down. If you love him and he you it will work out some way. Blessings

  5. This is a delightful blog. I've got that "mild agoraphobia" too, along with a good measure of social anxiety.

    I also enjoyed the contrasts within relationships etc. You've done a good job having a rich life in spite of the anxiety issues.

    I was helped a lot with my 'agoraphobia lite' by Social Anxiety Anonymous, a 12 Step program.

    Some of those relationship tensions can be rich fertilizer for new growth later. But every relationship is also different as well.